Saturday, February 17, 2007

Idiosyncracy, thy name is Alice

That's Ah-Lee-Say, not Al-iss, oh, did I just make my point before I meant to? I've been "tagged" by KMW to write a post of 6 wierd things about myself. Most people who read this blog already know this stuff, but here I go anyway...
1.) I'm a terrible speller. Everytime I write the word wierd or nieghbor or friend (wait, that was right, right?) I use i before e- no exceptions for me thanks. Cross word puzzles and Scrabble, at which I otherwise would have excelled, are problematic because of the darn spelling. Chris will often go through my blog and find and point out the errors. After I'm done staring him down with the evil eye, I go back and fix it. Thank God for spell check or I never would have made it through law school.
2.) Certain words make me sick. Really, I feel nauseated at the mention of certain words. Overly sensitive much? Yes. I don't know how it started, but for example, the word "dipping" or "dip" when referring to food makes me want to throw up violently, even typing this out is making me grimace. When people find this out they often feel compelled to test it out, some more than others. I usually try to ignore it, and then if it doesn't stop I give an icy stare and say something about remembering the third grade, and that usually shames them back into adulthood. This works, unless of course my adversary happens to be in the third grade, then it is a perfectly age appropriate response, so my only choice is to run away with my fingers in my ears.
My valiant husband usually comes to my rescue and mutes the t.v. when Queen Latifah feels the urge to shout out about the new terrific "dipping sauce", and that it's time to "rip and dip", lest I end up a writhing mess on the floor. Gross!
There is just something about that verb (or gerund or participle) when referring to food that makes my skin crawl. What makes it even weirder is that the word dip doesn't really bother me when used in other contexts.
I remember the first day we were in Seattle, I had gone to buy a coffee machine while Chris was doing some orientation what-nots, I parked next to a McDonald's, and there was this punk-ish girl stading outside, pan handling, saying she needed some money for "some 'dippin' dots' man". Good lord, if I was going to give someone money, it would NOT be for something called "dipping dots". I did like how she referred to me as "man" though.
In any event, if there is ever the need to describe what one does with food in that situation, here are some acceptable alternatives: dunk, submerge, put (x) on, season, or condimentar (if we are at my parent's), and if I'm ever eating around you and you need to describe what you are doing and don't wish to offend, I thank you, and can offer up some more alternatives.
3.) I'm really hairy and spend a LOT of time grooming. If I were ever to lose my tweezers, everyone should run for the hills or else risk being consumed by my eyebrows. My husband actually got me a really nice, very sharp, pair for my birthday. When he misplaces them there is total hell to pay.
4.)I have a really good memory for things that I hear. Alas, as my sister once said to me in college, if only I could use my powers for good instead of evil. This has won me countless bets about what lines in movies, songs and t.v. shows are, or I could tell you what you said the first time we met, but this takes up all the room in my brain so USEFUL information goes by the wayside. (I do credit this fact for helping me pass countless classes where I didn't even crack the spine of the book, but did show up to class everyday and took down EVERY WORD the professor said- worked with the bar exam!)
5.) On a related theme, I have what my husband calls an incredible food memory. This is not an attribute that I alone have, but it extends to my entire family. We'll be sitting down to a wonderful meal, and that will trigger the fond remembrance of meals past. "This is really good, but remember that time you made monk fish stew with potatoes and cream, it was about 9 years ago, in the fall, I brought some monk fish home from Dave's fish market in Evanston, THAT was SO good" etc.
Most people sit down to their dinners and discuss their day, or a book they read recently, or politics, or plans for the future. At my house we sit down and talk about how great the food is, or how so-so the food is, or how unfortunate it is that we are too full to eat any more, and usually how great the food was at some other meal, and then before dinner is even over, what we are going to eat tomorrow.
6.) In sticking with the food theme, I have really strong food aversions. That is a nice way of saying I'm picky. That may not sound wierd until I tell you what I hate (this list is by no means complete):
Peanut butter. I'm not alergic, and I don't mind peanuts. They aren't my favorite nut, I'll eat a few at a ball game or bar, but peanut butter and ANYTHING with even a whiff of it, and I'm retching.
Most desserts, with a special place in the hall of nasties for creamy desserts- flan, rice pudding, bread pudding, creme brulee, cheese cake, eeww!.
All cooked fruit: pies, tarts, jams, jellies, sauces, compotes etc., there are some notable exceptions: blueberry muffins, scones, and pancakes, dried cranberries or cherries in cookies, my mom's pear tart- which consists of puff pastry, super thinly sliced pears, apricot glaze, served with vanilla ice cream, who could refuse that?
However, that all time children's favorite of peanut butter and jelly? YUCK. Add to that calling it some God-awful thing like uncrustable and congratulations, you've just created the most unappetizing thing on the planet, I'd rather eat my own arm.
See how words can be so gross? Crust is not a word I'd normally think of as disgusting, I like pizza with a crispy crust, or a good crusty french bread, or even the earth's outer layer, no problem, but "uncrustable" reminds me of eye crust, or old skanky crusty underwear, or peanut butter. Oh wait, that one shouldn't be gross. It does not make me want to purchase, let alone eat your nasty product! Vile!
Ok, enough! It's time to get back on the wagon Gustavo, your turn! 6 wierd things about you. La Sra. you too! I feel like I'm really part of blogland now, I've been tagged and in turn am tagging others, feel the love.

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